Over the past year my life has been utterly out of control. My life has been so busy and hectic that it has been all I could do to hold myself together each day. Amidst all of this something in me has changed. I have lost my passion and zeal for life, for the things that are really important to me, for God even. Suddenly life has become this great survival race rather than what it was meant to be – a life in service, a joyful life, to my King.
I was talking to God about this last night and I was sharing with Him a bit about my loss of passion in life. Among other things one of the things that has turned from sheer pleasure to something I seem to avoid (if only subconsciously) is my time with Him. Especially digging into His word. A few years ago I woke up early (4am) every day so that I could have two uninterrupted hours to spend with my Heavenly Father. I would spend half of that time praying and half of that time diving deep into the precious words of my savior. I was always sad when that time was over, and it seemed like I could never get enough of Gods Word. I would just soak it up, eager to share what I was learning with those around me. How I long for such a joy and excitement.
I was also sharing with God my desire to truly know His Word. Even when I read it and drink deep, I soon forget what I’ve read or where it is. It seems like there are so many people (most of them much older) who have clung to the Word of God for such encouragement and guidance. They can refer to God’s Word no matter what is going on in their lives. I want to be like that, yet, having that kind of familiarity with a book that is so big and huge and…you get the point…is just…well…overwhelming and intimidating. So as I prayed, I asked God where to begin. What is the first step that I can take.
For some reason, whenever I hit these stupors in my life God always seems to take me back to the same place . . . the beginning. So, there I went.
1In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2The earth was formless and void, and darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was moving over the surface of the waters. 3Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light. 4God saw that the light was good; and God separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light day, and the darkness He called night. And there was evening and there was morning, one day.
Looking at the first verse I realized something. God is the founder of the universe. He had an amazing idea, and was able to start something bigger than we could ever imagine all on His own. Last night it dawned on me that if I read no more in the whole Bible, that one verse would be enough to help me realize that God is worthy to be praised. He needs no more credentials.
Yet even now, God continues to speak to me. I get so frustrated and feel inadequate when it comes to starting Joshua’s House (a non-profit organization I’m building). But, if God can create the whole universe, why do I even bother to be concerned. I have the founder of this planet as my partner! Wow!