Ok, so I’ve been kind of in a funk lately. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there before, but if you have you’ll know what I’m talking about. It’s been one of those weeks where I have no motivation and absolutly no sense of purpose. I come home after work, eat lunch with my hubby and work on our ten minutes of dishes together. So far, so good, but this is when the funk begins. I spend the rest of the afternoon wasting time on whatever I can find. Anything to keep me away from more dishes, cleaning, laundry, calling workman’s comp, running errands – you get the point. Then, when the day is over I feel so lazy and frustrated because I haven’t even started any of the important things I was supposed to do. I vow to do better tommorow, and tommorow is just the same as the day before. What gives?
What’s made it more difficult is that I’m at that place I think most college students in America are fully familiar with. I have no idea where I’m going and what I’m doing. What am I supposed to do with my life? Am I going to have my dream job, or will I have to do something else? Do I really know what my dream job is? What about my husband? What is he doing? Where is his buisness going? What does God want us to do? Between the funk and the unknown, I’ve been in a rather odd mood lately. I haven’t even felt all that close to God. Sure I’ve been faithful, including Him throught my day, but I haven’t felt that connection.
Today, however has been different. As I was praying this morning, and pouring my soul out to God, He began answering my pleas. First He responded to my unsurity about the future by bringing to my mind Joshua 9:11-13. “‘I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all of your heart.'” I may not know where I’m going in the next few years, but God sure does. As long as I seek Him, He will guide me every step of the way.
A little bit later at work, the hymn “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” began going through my head. It was looping so many times that I stopped resisting the urge to belt it out. And suddenly I was filled with joy. For the first time in a while I actually felt close to God. In Ephesians 5 Paul tells us to be filled with the spirit. There’s no wonder that includes “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord.” (v.19) There’s no comparing to the healing and joy the Holy Spirit can bring through a simple song.
So what did I learn today? Keep singing, and trust God. Horray!