Have you ever noticed that every once in a while you get a break in life. When you’re in school those breaks are namely Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break and summer break. During these periods of our lives, we decide once-and-for-all that we are going to get caught up. We are going to get caught up on school, caught up on sleep, on friends and family and the lives of those around us, on all the little things that we want to do, but never have time for. Then, as the break comes to a close, we realize that far too few of the tasks on our list have been accomplished, and sometimes we’re even more behind than we were when we began. What’s with all of this?
If you haven’t already guessed, this is where I’m at right now. It’s not that summer break is almost over, but since I’m only working part time this summer, there were so many things I was eagerly waiting to do. There’s learning to be a wife, keeping up with the house, growing closer to my family, and Arlen’s family, keeping in touch with friends I haven’t seen in a while, spending more time with friends that are around, devoting a lot of time to a ministry I feel called to start (more on that later), getting files on my computer orginized and the list goes on. Yesterday the bottom fell out. I discovered how exausted I felt, how far behind I am on all the wonderful things I had planned to do, and how I can’t be streatched to be five places with five different people at one time.
I have been reading in Joshua lately (by the way, Joshua is a very inspiring individual). Yesterday I began reading in Joshua 9. (You’ll have to read it). The basic outline is that people were deciving the Isrealites and “the men of Isreal took some of their provisions [to give to the decievers], and did not ask for the counsel of the Lord” Joshua 9:14. That was it! It hit me hard. So often I feel like things are so clear – it’s a good thing, and I enjoy it, so God must want me to do it. If I have no reason to say no, why not. Yet, I don’t consult with God. For the hard decisions, sure, but what about the easy stuff. Maybe it’s not as easy as it seems.
I’m not superwoman. I don’t claim to be. I can’t keep everyone happy all the time. I can’t keep up with the fast pace of this world. I can’t save every friendship, or save every soul (that’s God’s job for sure). So what now? I pray every day, for every decision. “God, do you want me to make this appointment?” “I have two options for this time slot, which thing should I do?” “How should I spend my time for You today?” “Which people do You want me to focus on today?” No I won’t get it all done, but that’s okay. It’s okay because with God’s help I will accomplish the things that are important to Him.